Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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