Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
