At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
