The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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