On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize