That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
