I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
