The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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