I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize