so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
