12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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