Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
