Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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