Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just want nice things and good sex
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
