my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
