we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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