Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
