she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
