I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
