MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
