is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
