is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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