so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
