my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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