And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
