This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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