I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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