Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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