is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
