you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
