You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
