Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
