my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When are your genitals available?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
