i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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