Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
