I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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