you would pick up someone in the library
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
