Your tits are I can't wait for
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
