I could make wine with my vomit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
