i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
