Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
