SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
my liver is dry heaving
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
