dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
