Apparently you make a good broom.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
