walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
