Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize