just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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