I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
