What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
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The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor