She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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