I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum