Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
