I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
