you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want to make out with him forever
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize