Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize