From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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