please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
