and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
