They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
