i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
