no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
