Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
