Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
