No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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